That’s right. Your own beloved (or not, your choice, of course) small girl just got her first big city turn down. Laid-off. Say those words sweet and slow, spell it out with your tongue as you let it moisten your lips: L a i d O f f. Yup. Little people always get the shaft, didn’t you know that?
So imagine with me for a moment. Small girl (there are hand motions here to demonstrate size) in big city (again, hand motions, stretching wider) works ahem worked at a sixth floor gallery on top a large Chelsea castley-towery thingy-majig. Struggling to satisfy her nice but somehow intimidating employer she goes to work to do her best. She likes her job though it doesn’t ask her to do lots of difficult things, so admittedly, she’s not entirely invested. But she does like her boss, admires her tactful, direct honesty and her strong woman personality. Like, I said, she does her best. However (doom like sound effects inserted here!) the economy affects everyone. So this Tuesday becomes the first Tuesday where she’s had the day off and did not have to attend to a crashed vehicle. She remembers to take advantage of her day, sort out what her internship status is now with the NYU internship police (a very helpful, friendly female) and takes some well needed breathing room.
Walking from NYU to Canal St. Spending time at the library to pick up the next leisure read – as they call books of supposed non-academic value – she makes her way to class. A field trip day, she attends a lecture at Potions Design and is surprised to find the two designer gentlemen talking with her after class. It is afterwards as she makes her way through undistinguished neighborhoods that she finds some true value in her day’s events. The lesson here is: be it in art or in picking up men, be true to yourself. If you’re not the perfect fit thats okay. Being honest and being yourself makes you meet the right people.
Today, it was reiterated to me that I’m not a corporate girl. My employer, previous employer is a very good business woman. I don’t know if I would make a very good business woman. I love too easily and too much. And though I know how to sell what I love, to sell love, I don’t think I would want to deal with the pressure that she deals with. The high over head, the peacock purchasers, the Chelsea Thursday nights. I wouldn’t want that for anyone who didn’t want it themselves.
I also learned that I attract a very specific type of male and people in general. This is funny to me, especially today as I relearn many things about myself. Maybe small girl should be renamed geek girl. Small geek girl? Humm…. future name change consideration. In any case, I’m finding that listening to my own self is going to get so much farther so much faster than listening to anything else. Okay, dumb lesson. But hey, if you don’t learn it the first time or third time or seem to pick it up at all, its best to write it down so you can at least find it later and realize that at one point in time you knew what you were doing.